


monumentally stupid things

by kirichin



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arguments, Established Relationship, Fights, Fluff, Friendship, Just a little tho, M/M, Misunderstandings, Post-Canon, kinda??, kinda?? just a little bit, please read the end notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26424328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirichin/pseuds/kirichin
Summary: “How did you even pull that off?” Sasuke’s voice was calm, there was no gritted teeth, no clenched fist, no furrowed eyebrows. Nothing that would indicate the fury that was running through his veins, which was probably why Naruto was lulled into a sense of calm.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94





	monumentally stupid things

**Author's Note:**

> so hey, this is a kinda canon divergent fic. evrything is just loose and alittle bit plotless in a way that u can probably insert this in whatever prompt u have in mind. they are still ninjas tho. so you can say that everything went happy and a-okay in the end, no marriage and stuff. sasuke spent his community service (lmao) and is now taking mission with naruto and co.

“How did you even pull that off?” Sasuke’s voice was calm, there was no gritted teeth, no clenched fist, no furrowed eyebrows. Nothing that would indicate the fury that was running through his veins, which was probably why Naruto was lulled into a sense of calm.

Normally, Naruto would’ve noticed that the deathly calm that Sasuke emitted was inconsistent with how he usually reacts after a mission gone right. There was usually, an upturning of lips, a fond ‘Usuratonkachi’ exhaled as he sidles next to Naruto, and an even fonder insult of how he could’ve done it better than Naruto.

There was none that day and Naruto would’ve noticed normally. But well, he was still rapidly healing from a punch that went through his gut, that and he may have been thrown through the ground one time too many. Head injuries were always something Kurama had trouble healing.

This was why the question made Naruto grin excitedly and jump next to Sasuke who was turned away from him, staring at the dead body of a missing-nin who they just defeated.

“Oh, well, I’ve been training!” The blond said. There was something thrilled in his voice. No matter how much he grew, acknowledgment had always been something he relished. But Sasuke’s reply made the grin disappear.

“That was the most monumentally stupid thing, I’ve ever seen.” Sasuke said back. This time anger was evident. He faced Naruto, visage forcefully blank, there was tension in his shoulders and he was holding himself as if he was ready to fight yet again despite them just finishing the mission.

By all experiences and instincts, Naruto should be responding to Sasuke’s stance. Instinct should have blared loudly in his head to step back and take a steadier pose.

But he just blinked back, face scrunching up in annoyance at Sasuke. Despite this there was no raising of his guard nor taking a fighting stance, even to dodge if Sasuke decided then and there to Chidori his ass, as if there was nothing wrong and he was perfectly safe. This annoyed Sasuke even more.

“What the hell is your problem Sasuke-teme?!” Naruto asked irritated and confused. Why was he so mad? Everything went well right? The blond thought back, scrutinizing whatever happened for the past thirty minutes, but nothing indicated what he had done wrong which pissed him off too. But before Naruto can snipe back, Sasuke was already walking away.

“Oi! Don’t walk out on me you fucking bastard!”

* * *

“-is what happened! And then he spent the whole way home not talking to me! I asked him a lot of times what’s the problem but then he gets mad! Sakura-chan what should I do with that-that idiot!”

Sakura paused from what she was writing and looked up at the ceiling, closed her eyes, and muttered a short prayer. Gods give her strength to not just skewer the two of these emotionally stunted _infants_ with her brand-new scalpel set.

At the front of the med-nin’s table, Naruto pouted, offended at the exasperated look that seemed to perpetually stay on Sakura’s face these past few days. He and Sasuke weren’t that bad right?

“Come on Sakura-chaaaan. Its totally his fault right? I don’t have to apologize right? Riiiight?”

Fuck her scalpel set. Sakura is going to dismember them with the rustiest fucking spork that she can find. They don’t deserve to be touched by her new babies. “Shut up and don’t whine Naruto.” She said to the whining blond and massaged her temples. Now she had a headache. Fuck these two.

“But Sakura-chan, tell me that I’m not in the wrong so that I can throw that to his face, believe it!”

“Why does it have to be me?” Sakura muttered to herself, beseeching the Gods for making her deal with these two men who never really grew out of their twelve-year-old selves.

“Because Sakura-chan,” Naruto said, thinking that Sakura was talking to him instead of asking the Gods why she chose to be friends with these two idiots “You were always right in this kind of things!” Cue a bright trusting smile.

The medic-nin sighed at the smile, softening around the edges, her headache from her shift dissipating. _Ah, that’s why._

“Fine Naruto, but I’m only going to say this once and you’re not going to complain.” A pause and an inhale. “Repeat what happened.”

“But Sakura-chan-“ A glare.

Naruto scowled and crossed his arms.

“So we had a mission-“

“No not that, the one that happened before he went mad.” Sakura said trying to grasp for whatever patience that her body has left to offer.

“Oh! That! So I learned a new technique with Kurama, it basically hastens my healing so fast that we can take debilitating hits and still be able to move and fight because the wound was already healing! It takes twice as many chakra but it was so cool. So I tested it out!” Naruto paused and looked at Sakura as if asking if he was saying the right things. Sakura nodded, saying that he was on the right track.

“The missing-nin wasn’t really trouble, believe it! And it was honestly overkill to send both of us so I thought that it was the perfect chance to test the new technique.”

“Go on”

“Yeah, so I let the missing-nin stab me in the gut and when he was that close, he can’t really dodge because his hand was in my stomach so I had the perfect shot, believe it! The blow would have killed a normal shinobi but because me and Kurama are awesome we were able to heal like five seconds after. Then, Sasuke got mad! He went all ‘How did you even pull that off?’ then he-“

“Okay stop.” Following Sakura’s instructions Naruto’s mouth snapped with a clack. “Now repeat what you last said.”

“What? Um, He went all ‘How did-“

“No not that, before that.”

“Kurama and I are awesome?” Sakura rolled her eyes at this. ”No, before that Naruto.”

“The blow would have killed a normal shinobi-“

“Yes, that. Now repeat that again and think.”

“The blow would have killed… Oh.” Sakura sighed shaking her head at the dumbfounded look on Naruto’s face.

“Yes Naruto ‘oh’.” Naruto gaped for a few more seconds, opening and closing his mouth as if he was about to say something before slumping and running his hand through his blond hair.

“He- he thought that I would- But I’m- what should I-“ Naruto stopped as if he didn’t know what to say. He closed his eyes and let out choked kinda whining sound on is throat. “Sakura-chaan.” He whined, eyes beseeching as if Sakura can fix everything in the world for him. She wondered when did he start looking at her like that, where did that level of confidence in her ability came from?

Sakura sighed, green eyes kind as she stared at Naruto. She stood up from her comfy chair in order to circle around the table and stood in front of him. She grabbed the other and shoved his face on her midriff and circled her arms around him.

“Go talk to him Naruto. I’m pretty sure you scared Sasuke-kun pretty bad. He came here to complain too you know.” She admitted, running her hand through course blond hair.

Seriously these two, good thing she never had younger siblings, her hands are full enough as it is.

Naruto nodded, head still on her stomach as he hugged Sakura back as best as he can. “Thank you Sakura-chan:”

* * *

_Drip drip._

Sasuke stared blankly as he poured the tea. The house was quiet without Naruto in it and something smarted within him.

He blinked and realized that the reason that the house felt too quiet was because he became used to Naruto. Now that he thought about it, he spent more time in Naruto’s shitty apartment than he did in the clan compound. Huh, no wonder his cupboard was empty, and his table was so dusty and he only has two shirts in his closet. He was practically living with Naruto.

Sasuke jolted when he felt wetness drip on his thighs. “Ah.” He breathed out as he stared at the overflowing cup of tea and his hand that continued to pour it. He placed the tea pot on the side and shifted the chair a little to the left in order to avoid the tea dripping off the table.

He stared some more to the cup before deciding to fuck everything and just let the mess he made rest there. He picked up the cup, the movement spilling some more tea to the side and his fingers, he ignored it and took a sip.

He mused again how quiet the house was.

Living with Naruto was noisy. There was always absent-minded humming paired with absent-minded tapping of fingers, there was always noisy breaths and snores, crinkling of ramen cover and laughter. Always always with laughter.

Be it waking up in the morning, having lunch in the afternoon, or blinking sleepily at each other in the evening. There was always laughter and noise.

And now it was gone. It was quiet like Naruto’s not here and he’s alone and-

 _The second freezing, a blond boy stopping, the hand speeding towards him, not too fast but he wasn’t moving and then there’s blood, so much blood it was red and thick and on **Naruto**_ **.** _The hand went through him and Naruto, God **his** Naruto wait what-_

“Sasuke!” The said ninja startled and realized several things. First was that he broke the cup, the second was he broke the cup while it was held in front of him and now he was soaked, third was that Naruto was entering his house like he was entitled to do so.

And maybe he was, Sasuke would give everything for Naruto to stay and not get impaled and killed by some random missing-nin.

“Hey Teme! I talked to Sakura-chan and-“ Naruto came to an abrupt stop and stared at Sasuke in what looked like shock. Sasuke just stared back at him. He’d look shock to if he saw himself, Sasuke thought to himself.

He must’ve looked ridiculous, sitting there with a broken cup on his hand, tea all over his front, on his table and probably on his floor. God, he’s such a mess.

“Oi, you alright? What happened?” Naruto asked, visage transforming quickly to concern. He practically flew next to Sasuke hand grasping at Sasuke’s wrist gently to look at the damage.

Naruto sighed in relief after he checked the wound. “Okay its not too deep and there was not many pieces lodged. I’m going to get the first aid kit.” He said hurriedly he took two steps before he was looking back on Sasuke.

“And go to the couch, there’s less mess there.” The Uchiha gazed at Naruto’s back as he left to look for the said medical supplied, his mind was buzzing and it took him a few seconds to understand what the other has said.

He should probably be mad, Sasuke thinks, or be annoyed, or maybe irritated. But all he felt was cold. He wanted to be mad but he can’t even summon the energy to be.

“You bastard, I told you to go to the couch. Ugh, come here.” Naruto grumbled as he dragged Sasuke along to Sasuke’s equally dusty couch but there was no real spite underscoring his voice.

Naruto flopped down, pulling Sasuke with him, they sat so close that their side was touching. They stayed like that for a few seconds and Naruto was warm, so warm that it was grounding. He should be the one who’s warm though, Sasuke was the one with the fire affinity. He just felt cold though.

But Naruto was warm.

Naruto sighed and grumbled before shifting a little to the side in order to face Sasuke. He grabbed the wounded hand and it felt like Naruto’s skin was a brand, and it was on Sasuke’s skin claiming him as Naruto’s.

“Seriously you should be careful! I’m the idiot between the two of us, right?” Naruto griped, hands gentle as he picked out shards of porcelain on Sasuke’s palm and Sasuke, suddenly Sasuke was warm. Warmer than ever and it was good. Like sunlight and tea, like soft warm wool blanket and warm hugs.

Naruto was touching Sasuke so gently and warmly. Naruto was warm and he was here. Warm and here. Warm and here and alive. Alive.

Suddenly, Sasuke was overwhelmed with the need to touch Naruto. He wanted to be close, so close that no space would be left, so close that he would imprint himself on Naruto, then maybe Naruto would think twice before doing something so spectacularly dumb and stupid.

Sasuke doesn’t really listen to his impulse. It was stupid and too emotional and more often than not, led him to trouble. But this time, just this once, he did.

“Eh? Sasuke? What’s wrong you okay?” Naruto asked, worried and concerned as Sasuke all engulfed him an embrace. It was around him, hugging him closely and tightly as if Naruto would bolt up and run. As if Naruto would disappear.

Wait- Oh. Yeah, that.

“Sasuke. I’m sorry.” Naruto said, muffled in Sasuke’s shoulder as he wiggled a little in order to be able to give as good as he got in the hug. He squeezed Sasuke against him and closed his eyes. He wonder what Sasuke felt that time.

Then he was remembering one snowy night, the Kumo-nin, Gaara, Sai and Sakura, they all want him dead, they all want Sasuke dead and he can’t-

Naruto cut that thought off and closed his eyes trying to blink back tears and not think about that, just thinking about it makes the panic and fear crest and threaten to drop onto him in one big panic attack. Yeah, he was _sorry_. No wonder Sasuke got mad. Fuck shit, just thinking about it makes his breath shorten and his heart raise,

“God Sasuke, I’m so-“ Naruto paused when his voice cracked, swallowing against the knot on his throat and the wobble on his voice. “I’m so sorry.”

The Uchiha closed his eyes, burying his face on the golden locks and clearing his throat. “Usuratonkachi,” He murmured. It was supposed to be an insult but it lost the stinging edge long ago, replaced by fondness and affection. “What do I expect, you’re the stupid one in this relationship.” Sasuke muttered, voice still soft and tender.

Naruto laugh at the insult and the late come back at the earlier gripe was watery and too close for a sob, but it was a laugh and Sasuke was talking to him again. “I said I’m sorry bastard.”

“Whatever dobe, just don’t do anything that stupid again.”

“I can’t promise anything, idiot, remember? But I won’t consciously do so next time.”

“You should, Sakura promised me to have a spar with you for what you pulled in that mission.”

“What?! You teme! You traitor! And I thought you loved me!”

“I do, but not enough to get between you and Sakura!”

“…”

“…”

“I love you too. Even though you’re a bastard.”

“Shut up Naruto.”

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, and afterwards, after all the bandaging, hugging, snuggling and kissing, they had the serious serious talk where naruto actually said that he cant promise anything and sasuke did too, but they resolved it and came into agreement or whatever because i dontwant to write serious stuff tehee. 
> 
> anyways this was just some softfluff totally not serious and was basedon some tumblr prompt i saw, which was  
> “How did you even pull that off?”  
> “Oh, well, I’ve been training-”  
> “That was the most monumentally stupid thing, I’ve ever seen.”  
> it was supposed to be more snarky and funny kind of thing but i wannado this so.... also i posted it without reading it again and editing stuffs so sorry for mistakes.... hoped you liked it anyway.
> 
> #savesakura
> 
> (PLEASE READ)  
> edit: Um hi! So yeah hey guys, I would like to know if I did or wrote something offending in this one-shot? I checked this fic earlier if there were some responses and I found 1 or 2 offending and anxiety-inducing comments? Since I was an idiot I panicked and my first reaction was to mark one as spam and delete it in my inbox. I don't know if you guys can still see it but I deleted it in a panicked haze. I can't honestly remember the comments? I think the other comment was in response to the first offending comment? Or was it in my writing? I honestly don't know and I'm rambling I'm so sorry. 
> 
> So I'm sorry if I wrote anything offending in this and if I did can you please inform me? Because I can't really change anything if I don't know what to do and it kinda scared me and yeah, I'm so sorry if this offended you.


End file.
